A few months ago, I got my wisdom teeth out. They drugged me up, stuffed my mouth full of gauze and sent me home after the procedure. I used the Note feature on my iPhone to communicate with Colby. Obviously, our conversations were very one-sided because I was all gooey and dumb. I just found my side of the conversation saved in the app and I thought it was pretty funny, because I can only remember bits and pieces from that day.

May I present to you… my words of wisdom. Teeth.

I started babbling in the room because I was so nervous

Wow I can still type pretty good


Don’t worry. I don’t have AIDS.

I saw Dr. Mitton for a second before conking out. The China show was on a TV in there too.

Get some reading done?

What book? The history one?

This is handy.


81? 84?

I ain’t carrying it.

Is your mom in town?

How fast does a Perxa et kick in?

Do we have any?

And salt

She gave you a syringe?

I’ll have to tke a Percacetbefotehand

I don’t know how hard I should be pressing down on this gauze

My mouth is curled up like the f***in’ Joker.

The shoppers sign is spiky

I thought I wasn’t supposed to feel anything the first data

Could you turn that on, but turn the temp on it up?

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Jillianne Hamilton is an author, crafter, hobby addict, history enthusiast and graphic designer in Charlottetown, PEI on Canada's beautiful east coast. Her debut novel, Molly Miranda: Thief for Hire, was shortlisted for the Prince Edward Island Book Award in 2016. Her fourth book, The Lazy Historian's Guide to the Wives of Henry VIII, will be published in 2018.


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Hi, I'm Jill! I'm an author, a Lazy Historian, a web/graphic designer, a bookworm and a hobby addict. I live in Charlottetown on Canada's beautiful east coast. Learn more.

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